A friend posted this NY Times article on Facebook and I thought it was very interesting.
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/02/us/southern-manners-on-decline-some-say.html?_r=1&src=tp&smid=fb-share
I would like to know the background of the author of this article. There is the subject of racism being brought up because the 2 men at the bar asking to give up their seats were African- American and the women Caucasian. Honestly, while reading this article in the beginning, race wasn't even a factor for me. I was surprised to see that it came to a lawsuit. I grew up in the south, splitting my time between Mississippi and South Carolina. Yes all the stereotypes are there but this country is such a melting pot that I feel like every race/ethnicity has their stereotypes.
Being a southern transport to Delaware and having spent some time living in NYC, the differences are definitely there. It is not that people are rude in Delaware or NYC. Actually I felt people in NYC were very nice and helpful compared to their stereotype. Same for Delaware....many nice & helpful people here. From my experience, they tend to keep to themselves in my area. That is what they know, just as what I know from growing up in the south is speaking to everyone lol
In the south, most of the towns are smaller or have more of a community feel and EVERYONE pretty much knows everyone or at least a family member or friend...there is some connection somewhere lol I know I have discussed manners before and the differences I've notice. Just to mention again...we have lived in our neighborhood for a little over 4 years. It is not a large neighborhood...maybe 75 homes. And there are STILL people who I either pass daily in the car or while out with the kids who do not speak when we pass on the sidewalk. Or even acknowledge me. This irks me to no end! I have come to accept that maybe its a cultural difference? I sometimes speak just to get a response and occasionally I get ignored. Cultural or not....'Hi' or a wave is universal. Not that difficult.
When we go to visit in South Carolina, I have remind myself to be courteous to others, slow down, speak to people and wave at everyone I pass in a car or who passes me in a car. I will never forget when a group of us went to my dad's house in North Carolina for a long weekend. My friend from Delaware/ Ohio (hi Kelly!) thought it was so funny how everyone waved at us, perfect strangers just waving away like we were all long time friends. It just the way of life. I grew up that way. I guess that why it was such a culture shock when I moved to Delaware and it was the complete opposite. No one waved, no one spoke to me, I was surprised when a door was held open for me by anyone.
Even now when I am out with all 3 boys....a big double stroller and a 3 y/o walking by me, people will walk in front of me, open the door and keep going. I mean seriously....considerate much?! When I took J&K to the doctor last week (dermatologist) and the waiting room was full of men & women. I was struggling a big to get out of the door...it was just a bit too narrow for the double stroller. Not a single person got up to help me. It takes 2 seconds to get up and hold the door for me. There were even a couple people watching but they just sat there. On a positive note, I have had many nice people who hold the door open for me after they state how 'I have my hands full!" hehe
Where I grew up, men did give up their seats for women...regardless of race. Doors were held open, we said 'yes mam' and 'yes sir,' those were not signs of disrespect or demeaning. But I have heard that a few times here that some people are offended when kids say those things to them. Why? They aren't saying to be a smart a*@, they are saying it to be polite. I try to teach Gavin to say 'yes mam,' I have a feeling it will be an ongoing lesson but I am trying. He may only end up saying to me or other family members but I cringe every time he says 'what?' or "huh?' to me lol He loves to hold the door open for me or anyone while we are out in public. I hope he holds onto that and all the other manners we try to teach him and J&K.
With all that said, I am not saying southern manners are perfect everywhere and all people are wonderful there. Of course, I am a bit biased because I love the south & everything about it. Nor am I saying that people in Delaware or the north are rude and inconsiderate. I have met some really great friends and people here in Delaware. I am just saying, in my opinion, there are differences and it all comes down to where you were raised. That doesn't mean it's right or wrong, just different. We should respect other peoples differences and learn from them. So please don't send me any hate mail lol
I sure do love some southern hospitality though :-) And that southern twang is music to my ears ! Except for Paula Deen's, she is way over the top! :-P
I almost forgot what I am thankful for today, I am thankful that Gavin's preschool worked out after all because I feel like he is where he needs to be for now :-)
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/02/us/southern-manners-on-decline-some-say.html?_r=1&src=tp&smid=fb-share
I would like to know the background of the author of this article. There is the subject of racism being brought up because the 2 men at the bar asking to give up their seats were African- American and the women Caucasian. Honestly, while reading this article in the beginning, race wasn't even a factor for me. I was surprised to see that it came to a lawsuit. I grew up in the south, splitting my time between Mississippi and South Carolina. Yes all the stereotypes are there but this country is such a melting pot that I feel like every race/ethnicity has their stereotypes.
Being a southern transport to Delaware and having spent some time living in NYC, the differences are definitely there. It is not that people are rude in Delaware or NYC. Actually I felt people in NYC were very nice and helpful compared to their stereotype. Same for Delaware....many nice & helpful people here. From my experience, they tend to keep to themselves in my area. That is what they know, just as what I know from growing up in the south is speaking to everyone lol
In the south, most of the towns are smaller or have more of a community feel and EVERYONE pretty much knows everyone or at least a family member or friend...there is some connection somewhere lol I know I have discussed manners before and the differences I've notice. Just to mention again...we have lived in our neighborhood for a little over 4 years. It is not a large neighborhood...maybe 75 homes. And there are STILL people who I either pass daily in the car or while out with the kids who do not speak when we pass on the sidewalk. Or even acknowledge me. This irks me to no end! I have come to accept that maybe its a cultural difference? I sometimes speak just to get a response and occasionally I get ignored. Cultural or not....'Hi' or a wave is universal. Not that difficult.
When we go to visit in South Carolina, I have remind myself to be courteous to others, slow down, speak to people and wave at everyone I pass in a car or who passes me in a car. I will never forget when a group of us went to my dad's house in North Carolina for a long weekend. My friend from Delaware/ Ohio (hi Kelly!) thought it was so funny how everyone waved at us, perfect strangers just waving away like we were all long time friends. It just the way of life. I grew up that way. I guess that why it was such a culture shock when I moved to Delaware and it was the complete opposite. No one waved, no one spoke to me, I was surprised when a door was held open for me by anyone.
Even now when I am out with all 3 boys....a big double stroller and a 3 y/o walking by me, people will walk in front of me, open the door and keep going. I mean seriously....considerate much?! When I took J&K to the doctor last week (dermatologist) and the waiting room was full of men & women. I was struggling a big to get out of the door...it was just a bit too narrow for the double stroller. Not a single person got up to help me. It takes 2 seconds to get up and hold the door for me. There were even a couple people watching but they just sat there. On a positive note, I have had many nice people who hold the door open for me after they state how 'I have my hands full!" hehe
Where I grew up, men did give up their seats for women...regardless of race. Doors were held open, we said 'yes mam' and 'yes sir,' those were not signs of disrespect or demeaning. But I have heard that a few times here that some people are offended when kids say those things to them. Why? They aren't saying to be a smart a*@, they are saying it to be polite. I try to teach Gavin to say 'yes mam,' I have a feeling it will be an ongoing lesson but I am trying. He may only end up saying to me or other family members but I cringe every time he says 'what?' or "huh?' to me lol He loves to hold the door open for me or anyone while we are out in public. I hope he holds onto that and all the other manners we try to teach him and J&K.
With all that said, I am not saying southern manners are perfect everywhere and all people are wonderful there. Of course, I am a bit biased because I love the south & everything about it. Nor am I saying that people in Delaware or the north are rude and inconsiderate. I have met some really great friends and people here in Delaware. I am just saying, in my opinion, there are differences and it all comes down to where you were raised. That doesn't mean it's right or wrong, just different. We should respect other peoples differences and learn from them. So please don't send me any hate mail lol
I sure do love some southern hospitality though :-) And that southern twang is music to my ears ! Except for Paula Deen's, she is way over the top! :-P
I almost forgot what I am thankful for today, I am thankful that Gavin's preschool worked out after all because I feel like he is where he needs to be for now :-)
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